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Direct Approach To Dating

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  • Direct Approach To Dating

    I'm wondering how people are finding the direct dating approach when it comes to dating men over 30. I've found that the direct approach is really hit and miss but at this point I'm just tired of the games. I'm not looking to get married tomorrow or anything, I've already been divorced so I'm not looking to jump into anything really serious right away, but I also feel like I'm at the age where I don't want to play games with anyone and I'd like to lay my cards on the table up front. I've found that some men are pretty receptive to this but that most get scared off pretty easily. What do men think about this? What are some experiences that some of the ladies have had?

  • #2
    Different men will react differently to this approach. I think that most would be intimidated by it though. I know that I could handle it but that it would make me a bit uncomfortable to be getting this information right away from a women that I'm just getting to know. My advice here would be to tone it down a bit. I can completely understand the desire to get everything out in the open right away but at the same time, that's a lot of information for anyone to take on right out the gate when you're just starting to get to know someone. I'd be hesitatnt to continue seeing a women who came on that strong right away. Regardless of what her intentions are. Men scare off a lot easier than women might think. It doesn't take much to send us running for the hills. There might be some men out there who appreciate that approach. If you insist on approaching men that way though, you're probably going to need to prepare yourself for the fact that most are going to move on. It's too much too fast and men don't generally work that way. I know it might sound like a bit of an excuse but I promise that it isn't. In a lot of cases you ladies are a lot braver than we are when it comes to expressing yourselves and knowing what you want. Hope this helps Leigh_Anne_E

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    • #3
      Here's what I suggest. I would suggest approaching how you give this information to men the same way that we approach bringing up sex with women. Before you roll your eyes let me explain. When we first start dating someone, men and women tend to have different things on their minds at the beginning. It's just kind of how we work. When men approach the topic of sex with a woman, we know we have to take our time and find the right moment to do that. Think about the information you want to talk about in the same way because we probably react to being given that kind of information up front the same way you would react to being asked for sex up front. It's uncomfortable and it can be scary. I know it's not going to be a favorite response but it's an honest one. Take your time with that information unless he asks...same as we would do with you about what's on our minds. Maybe this will help you.

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      • #4
        I guess I've been so caught up in not repeating the same mistakes I have in the past that I haven't really left a lot time open for getting to know someone. These replies gave me a lot to think about IanNorthIsHere and Terell_flies. I don't know that I'd compare it to sex, but I get where you're coming from. I'll try and take a more relaxed approach. Youve given me a lot to think about.

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        • #5
          For me it is more of a hit or miss situation when it comes to be being direct. Some guys might find it a bit of a turn off if you're too forward with what you're looking for

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          • #6
            If you're the one who's going to ask me, then I would definitely go out with you. Leigh_Anne_E

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            • WillowPillow
              WillowPillow commented
              Editing a comment
              I don't think that she has any plans of asking you lol

            • TechKilla
              TechKilla commented
              Editing a comment
              then i'll ask her then

          • #7
            Since you're not looking for anything serious at the moment, I think it would be much better for you if you just do random hookups for now

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            • PintCream
              PintCream commented
              Editing a comment
              I think so too, because it would be hard to jump off to a serious one right away.

            • WhiskyGypsy
              WhiskyGypsy commented
              Editing a comment
              Slurpee depends on what you're going to offer me besides your tongue lol

            • Slurpee
              Slurpee commented
              Editing a comment
              WhiskyGypsy I'll surprise you.

          • #8
            You mean you're ready to commit long term, but not at all? You're a little confusing

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            • #9
              One of the things I enjoy that I didn't when I was in my 20's is a women who knows how to flirt, especially if we can make each other laugh in the process. If we start out on the right track with a little bit of flirting, I know we have chemistry. I think the qualities we look for in a partner also changes with age.

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              • #10
                Most men would really get scared if you say that upfront. Why don't you get to know the man first before, saying your intentions to them.

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                • #11
                  I just find it hard to believe with a face like that, you'd still have difficulties getting a guy's attention,

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                  • #12
                    Very cool !!!

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